The first two 100-0 books are officially published today. Manchester United v Liverpool and Spurs v Arsenal kick off the series, with Celtic v Rangers and Sunderland v Newcastle following on 4 December.

It’s been a day of endless Champagne receptions, graced by the giants of the literary world, and we haven’t been invited to any of them. Still, who needs prawn sandwiches when you can have cod and chips?

May God bless these books and all who sail in them!